But it does not mean that he has become a monk in the past five years and has lost his desire.
On the contrary, when it was late at night, the thoughts became stronger and stronger. At first, he could use the video he had in the past to dissolve his longing. That video was a video of the love between the two of them recorded by her.
After losing her, he found that the video was the best memory she left for him.
In front of outsiders, he was a strong and selfless leader; but when no one was around, he made some extremely indecent actions towards her in the video, immersed in the dream of still having sex with her.
In the first two or three years, these could relieve his longing for love for her, but later, after a long time, he was not satisfied with this. He missed her, thought of her reality, wanted to hug her, and wanted to penetrate the transparent feeling of her body.
During an accidental mission, he was ambushed by the other party and was injected with drugs.
Later, he completed this mission firmly and did not show any indecency in the enemy, but only he knew that he had a desire in his heart.
Because when he was injected with hallucinatory drugs, he felt that his Manman was back. He watched her smile brightly in the peach blossom forest, and he and she were in love with her on the boat in the lotus pond.
Everything is so real.
So, in the days that followed, everyone thought that he had successfully quit drugs, but only he himself knew that his drug addiction was getting bigger and bigger.
He was even deeply trapped in it and could not extricate himself. On several occasions, he wanted to live in such a illusion for the rest of his life and never come out.
Fortunately, Zhang Man finally came back, and he no longer had to live in such an illusory day. Those days were just like dreams, and now he has woken up from his dream.
It just takes a while to get rid of drugs.
But he would not tell anyone about this, including Zhang Man.
He didn’t want her to know that without her for more than five years, he lived like a human being, a ghost not a ghost.